WINGS Safety Planning

For those who still live with an abusive family member or spouse, physical safety is a prime concern. Although you cannot control the other person’s choices and actions, you can prepare to protect yourself and your children.

If you are the friend, relative, physician or counselor for an abused person, one exercise that can help them prepare a safety plan is to ask: IF YOU HAD FIVE MINUTES TO LEAVE YOUR HOME, WHAT WOULD YOU TAKE WITH YOU?

The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecologists suggests:

  • Leave a packed bag at the home of a friend or neighbor. The bag could include cash or credit cards, extra clothes for you and the children, a favorite toy or plaything.
  • In case you have to leave quickly, hide an extra set of car and house keys outside the house.
  • Take along important papers:
      • Birth certificates
      • Health insurance cards, medicine, prescription numbers
      • a deed or lease to your home or apartment
      • checkbook and extra checks
      • social security number, green card/work permit
      • restraining order, or court orders
      • driver’s license or photo ID
      • pay stubs


The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence offers these steps for planning your personal safety in case of further abuse:

To increase my safety, I can do some or all of the following:

1. When I have to talk to my abuser in person, I can:

2. When I talk to my abuser on the phone, I can:

3. I will make up a "code word" for my family, co-workers, or friends, so they know when to call for help for me. My code word is:

4. When I feel a fight coming on, I will try to move to a place that is lowest risk for getting hurt such as:

or (at work):

or:

(at home) (in public)

5. I can tell my family, co-workers, boss, or a friend about my situation. I feel safe telling:

6. I can use an answering machine or ask my co-workers, friends or other family members to screen my calls and visitors. I have the right to not receive harassing phone calls. I can ask:

to help screen (home) (work) my phone calls.

7. I can keep change for phone calls with me at all times. I can call any of the following people for assistance or support if necessary and can ask them to call the police if they see my abuser bothering me.

friend:

relative:

co-worker:

counselor:

shelter:

other:

8. When leaving work I can:

9. When walking, riding or driving home, if problems occur, I can:

10. I can attend a support group for women who have been abused. Support groups are held:

at:

11. Telephone Numbers I Need to Know:

Police/Sheriffs Department:

Probation Officer:

Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault Program:

Counselor:

Clergy Person:

Attorney:

Other: